im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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