did you get engaged???
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
