When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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