My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
