i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
