Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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