I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He felt like a one man threesome
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
