Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
