just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
