when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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