what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
