I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
