Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
