I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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