I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
