Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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