we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
