we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
