So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
