i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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