I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
