I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
