Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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