well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
