New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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