Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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