walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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