making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
