Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
