We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
