why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
