There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
