You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
