I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
