He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
