Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
