ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
