have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
