we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
