Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
