just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
