What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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