what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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