My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
