I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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