hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
