Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
