if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize