in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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