I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
