the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
