Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
