i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
