And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
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